Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize