I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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