I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize