Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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