There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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