nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
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Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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