When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
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I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
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sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You ate ashes out of my bong
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