With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize