Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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