i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
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