watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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