I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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