If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drink are we having for lunch?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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