So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm having to shit out rocks
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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