It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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