people are starting to question the shark bite story
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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