I looked at my own cervix.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
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For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
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I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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