FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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