I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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