I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize