Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm experimenting with sincerity
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