Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize