The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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