I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
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Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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