Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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