I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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