ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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