There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize