your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize