I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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