I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
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she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
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I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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