he wants to bone in the snuggie
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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