i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
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I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
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Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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