I wish i was in the wii world.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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