Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Apparently you make a good broom.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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