I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize