Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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