a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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