my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize