It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
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