I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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