it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
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You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
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I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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