OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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