I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
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Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
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Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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