u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
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nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
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