Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize