i'm signing you up for texting rehab
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize