Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize