also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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