He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
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he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
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i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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