I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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