She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
