I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
did i just pee glitter
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
